That’s right, I want things. Not actually things I need mind you, not even tangible things, I just want stuff. Crap if you will. And I for one blame christmas. I don’t need more stuff, stuff isn’t going to make or break me, stuff in fact will inevitably (unless its fiber related or tangentially useful) become clutter. My little socialist heart knows, it does not need stuff, the measure of love isn’t in frippery, it is in expression and action and word, it is not in new underwear (but hey every one gets underpants at christmas and with my dogs weird underpant eating fetish I can always use them).
This want of things disturbs me, and while I contemplate the value of useing Kolenar to supress this urge, I also understand that in this time of the year people expect gifts in exchange for other gifts in this weird gift giving capitalist conjunction. And while I could prattle on about “The Gift” by Marcel Mauss a pretty sussinct look at gift giving in an anthropological fashion, I won’t I will merely say this want, this yearn to have stuff, bugs me deeply.
For christmas I have set about knitting something for almost everyone in my family. Cheap yes, but the time constraints are enough to lead to hair pulling, combined with the 45 pages I’ve written in the last week you can see how I’d be a little under the gun now.
One of the presents still languishing away on the needles is the second sweater, this one for my niece Immy. I just finished the body up to the yoke, and now can start on the sleeves which are just no fun for me right now, the pattern is great (Little cable hoodie) but little fiddly bits can get me in a tizzy and 4 year olds have such tiny arms.
While I have completed quite the haul in terms of knitterdom hats socks scarves legwarmers shawls, I still feel like I haven’t bought/done enough, even if you factor in that the legwarmers were the shortest knit and they were about 4 hours a pair.
I keep feeling like I should have more done by now, that I should be sitting on a mountain of finished objects with a back of up of multitudes of store bought items.
I might not have as much money as I would like, because if I did it would be a christmas of epic proportions. My only hope is that with each gift the recipiant knows that while they may not be big, they have a lot of heart. Some of the gifts have been ruminating for a very long time in my head, and while knitting the same sweater pattern three times has made me want to kill in the past and may come again, hopefully everything fits and is loved.
While the gifts from me may be small this year I give them expecting nothing in return, just that they are enjoyed and serve their purposes. It may not quell my want of stuff as illogical and useless as that is, it will give me joy to give these to their respective recipiants. I am currently three knitting projects away from my first round of knitting completed. There are a few addons I may try to pull out at the end, but if they don’t at least the gifts proper are ready. Either way, it’s a slim christmas, all I ask from it is that we try to love one another and enjoy the company.